Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Foiled Revisions

Looking for a little feedback here, trying to refine these pages, but I may just be needlessly nitpicking.  I'd love it if you guys could take a look and offer some critique.  Even if you're not an artist, you still have a pair of working eyes, and  you can tell me if it works or does not work for you.

Do you find this page to be too busy?  Is the dialogue hard to follow/distracting/disruptive of page flow?  Do you find the lineweights on the bubbles too thick?  The lineweights on the borders too thin?
Can you tell what's going on?  Should I add the page borders back in or eliminate them entirely (they'd need to be eliminated before printing).
Does the tone work, or does it jolt you from the story?  Do they highlights work?  More highlights?  Fewer highlights?  Do the black borders help convey the setting?
Do you understand what's gone on between the first and second panels?  Do you understand what's going on on the page in general?
Can you tell what the setting is for each panel?   Do you have a general idea of what's going on?
Is this page too wordy?  Do you feel like this scene should have been broken up over two pages?  Is the action clear?
Do these three pages read without any dialogue?  Can you tell what's going on?

Should I have used tone throughout the comic, instead of just in two pages?  Any additional commentary would be appreciated, I'm always looking to improve.